There are many things you can do to support someone mourning, including:
• sending cards or flowers
• preparing food
• providing child care
• doing chores: mowing the lawn, cleaning the house
• contributing to a cause which is meaningful to the family
• offering transportation
READ this .. BEFORE you offer HELP or SUPPORT:
• Simply be available. Sometimes, those grieving don’t want to talk or listen, NOR do they want YOU to talk or listen. They simply want you to be there for them.
• Allow them their full range of emotions. This could include anger and bitterness.
• DON’T say you know how the other person is feeling.
• Be patient and understanding, but not patronizing.
• Don’t force the person to talk or share feelings if he/she doesn’t want to.
• Don’t be scared to mention the deceased person’s name or share a memory of the person in the company of those who are grieving. Others are thinking about the deceased person, so it is acceptable and natural to bring the name up conversation.
• Remember grieving takes time and is individualized. You may want to “stop the pain,” but those grieving must go through THEIR grieving process in THEIR time.
Will I feel better when Justice is Served?
For those who have lost someone as a result of trauma, justice may never be served. Experiencing the judiciary process is wrought with highs and lows; and the process can be very lengthy which adds additional stress to the grieving process. For some it slows grieving and closure as loved ones lose the ability to regain balance and control. Working with a counselor or therapist during this time can be essential to dealing with the judicial system while seeking closure.
Click here (link for Dr. V Recommends) to find resources if you or a loved one is in need of support in dealing with the loss of a loved one.