Want to stay on top of breaking health news and receive fun, FREE sexy tips to stay healthy?
The healing process is different for everyone and can be lengthy. Allow yourself to go through YOUR OWN grieving process and:
• realize you will have good and bad days: its OK to laugh, cry, get ANGRY
• share your feelings with others
• journal put your feelings to paper
• concentrate on living
• eat regularly .. even if you don’t feel like it
• do things to make you feel good
• forgive yourself
• go at your own pace – the process is separate and individual for everyone
There are many things you can do to support someone mourning, including:
• sending cards or flowers
• preparing food
• providing child care
• doing chores: mowing the lawn, cleaning the house
• contributing to a cause which is meaningful to the family
• offering transportation
READ this .. BEFORE you offer HELP or SUPPORT:
• Simply be available. Sometimes, those grieving don’t want to talk or listen, NOR do they want YOU to talk or listen. They simply want you to be there for them.
• Allow them their full range of emotions. This could include anger and bitterness.
• DON’T say you know how the other person is feeling.
• Be patient and understanding, but not patronizing.
• Don’t force the person to talk or share feelings if he/she doesn’t want to.
• Don’t be scared to mention the deceased person’s name or share a memory of the person in the company of those who are grieving. Others are thinking about the deceased person, so it is acceptable and natural to bring the name up conversation.
• Remember grieving takes time and is individualized. You may want to “stop the pain,” but those grieving must go through THEIR grieving process in THEIR time.
Will I feel better when Justice is Served?
For those who have lost someone as a result of trauma, justice may never be served. Experiencing the judiciary process is wrought with highs and lows; and the process can be very lengthy which adds additional stress to the grieving process. For some it slows grieving and closure as loved ones lose the ability to regain balance and control. Working with a counselor or therapist during this time can be essential to dealing with the judicial system while seeking closure.
Click here (link for Dr. V Recommends) to find resources if you or a loved one is in need of support in dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Dr. V,
I just got a tattoo and lip piercing which I absolutely love for my 25th birthday. I was so excited about my new body art, but all my friends are saying now I won’t ever be able to donate blood. Is this true? If so, I’m so disappointed.
Tiffany
Hi Tiffany,
Don’t be disappointed. Yes, you will be able to donate blood. However, there may be a waiting period. If you have donated blood in the past you may recall the Red Cross has a questionnaire they ask before you are able to pass go and donate blood. The questionnaire includes some questions about your health status, sexual history and whether you have gotten a tattoo or piercing. They ask so many prying personal questions because they prescreening the eligibility of donors. If you do not meet the Red Cross’ criteria for donation, for instance if you have Chagas disease, or a history of anemia they will turn you away and you won’t be able to donate. The main concern they have about tattooing and piercing is Hepatitis B and C infection.
Now, the rules vary state by state but if you have gotten a body piercing in the last year and the instruments were sterile and used only one time you should be allowed to donate. If there is any question regarding the sterility of the instruments used for your piercing then the Red Cross recommends you wait a 1yr to donate.
Now for tattoos – you have to wait 12 months to donate UNLESS you live in a state where tattoo facilities are state regulated – meaning the state regulates that the parlor uses sterile needles and new ink pots for each person.
Don’t beat yourself up about this or be disappointed. It’s wonderful that you wish to donate and give the gift of life others, you may just have to wait a while. Call your local Red Cross to find out what the recommendations are for your state. And in the meantime enjoy your new body art.
Wishing you good health.
Dr. V
Hi Dr. V. My mom’s physician wants her to take Lyrica. My mom says Lyrica is a narcotic. Is that so? She doesn’t want to take it for fear of addiction.
Thanks!
Gabby
Hi Gabby,
Thanks for your email.
Lyrica is not a narcotic nor does it contain addictive properties. Lyrica is chemically and structurally similar to gabapentin (Neurontin) and is used to help relieve certain types of nerve pain or seizures. From my experience, Lyrica has worked well for patients with pain syndromes such as fibromyalgia or migraines. However, dizziness, tiredness and weight gain have been common side effects. This side effects certainly are different for each patient. There is no generic available for the medication yet so check with your insurance carrier to see if it’s covered.
Hope this helps.
Dr. V
Hi my name is June, I am a 21 year old female, and I just recently heard you speak to a group of young women about self-confidence. As a child my mother verbally abused me, and all the things she’s said to me I just can’t seem to get over. It’s controlling my life and I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t think I am beautiful, because everyone always talks about how skinny I am, and I’ve started to eat a lot more just so I can gain weight. I look in the mirror and I don’t like what I see. I wish I had curves to make me more beautiful, so people could stop being so hard on me about my weight. I really want to love myself but I just think it’s impossible.
June,
You are not skinny it’s called svelte! You are doing what so many of us women do to OURSELVES, and believe the insanity that other people tell us! Love yourself, because you deserve it! God made no mistake when he created you. I know how hard it is not to listen to criticism or comments others make but at the end of the day the most important person’s opinion is YOURS! Forget what they think. There is NOT one standard of beauty. And certainly being thin or skinny as you described it is no reason to NOT think you are beautiful. Beauty is not solely about the outside, it is also about how you treat others, how wonderful a friend, daughter, and sister you are. You are a beautiful young woman who is blossoming and learning to stand up for your self and go out on your own.. these are important times and you are building you character and self worth.. so invest in you! You deserve to love yourself and be happy with who you are.
We all think the grass is greener on the other side. All of us can think of things we want to change (be taller, thinner, curvier, have longer hair, darker skin), but the most important thing is that you should be healthy and happy in life. So if you want to be a bit curvier that’s OK, workout and eat right and see what changes you can make. But your body type might be one that is just naturally slimmer (which soooooooo many women would die for), and you may have a small frame and those things will never change. So instead of being so hard on yourself for a body type that you cannot change, learn to build your confidence and revel in the fact that you are a young, beautiful woman ready to take on life.
It’s NOT impossible for you to love you… but you have to BELIEVE that you are worth SELF love! (Notice I didn’t say the love of others… you really must love yourself first.
(1) Start with an affirmation that you tell yourself every day… Read it aloud in the mirror.. it can be anything you want it to be.
(2) Make a list: Why I love me: and post it in your room. It could say something like: I love me because I am: smart, sassy, caring, flirty, beautiful… the list is endless… and refer to it when you have rough days
(3) Lastly, and I say this with a smile… you never know some of those folks who may make fun of you and tease you for being “slim” may just be jealous… you never know
So my dear, It’s summer time and a time for happiness… turn over a new leaf and start loving you because you are fabulous!
Dr. V